Monday, May 25, 2015
Can't really seem to get focused to update more regularly these days.
I guess the biggest news is that I've finally quit my job. I sincerely hate it and although I'm staying longer than I'd like (to June 19), at least I'm actually going this time. It's been too much of a struggle since the new year and I'm done. My heart was actually done a long time ago, but my head (stupid ego!) kept going 'okay!' to new work options. My boss was away for two weeks, the MD should have been there - but wasn't - and, well, I just hate it. It's that simple. Simply cannot find the love for insulation. And there's far too much chaos. I see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, I'm just not prepared to spend more time chasing it.
Plus, it's making me sick. That I know for sure. Apart from the perimenopause - finally got a prescription to stop the bleeding! - I've been stressed, frustrated and angry, which doesn't help. I'm going to take some time off, get myself healthy again and start fresh with work. I'm going back to the New Forest, to my cousin's place. Somewhere I can feel relaxed, comfortable and get myself back on track, so I can start making rational decisions again. I'm so far from where I was when I arrived and I think I knew that even at Christmas, when I went back to this job knowing it was completely wrong for me. I ignored my instincts - again - and this is what happens. I'm also becoming increasingly aware that I compromise myself to please other people far too often.
The only thing I'll miss is the Scot. We've been spending time together in Brighton - which is lovely - and I spent a whole week with him last week. He cooked for me, ran baths for me after my runs, I got to talk with him and wake up beside him...a whole week of spoiling and it was marvelous. Just what I needed! We're planning another visit to Brighton, a couple of picnics and a week in Scotland. Then it'll be the process of easing off until I leave because we both know that once I leave London, it's over. I'm trying not to think that far ahead, but I can honestly say I've enjoyed every single minute I've spent with him and it was worth following through with "this."
Even though I'll be miserable as sin when it's actually over.
My cousin from Canada was here at the beginning of the month and my auntie, cousin and I went to London to meet her and her partner. I hadn't met him before, but he's a great guy and they're really happy, which is all that matters in the long run. They were staying at the Savoy (she works for Fairmont, so gets a big discount) and we went to an Italian restaurant nearby and had a very long, enjoyable lunch. Then we had a short walk and went back to the hotel for cocktails. There's a menu. The most expensive cocktail - and why you would even drink it, I have no idea - is £5000. That's correct: £5000. It's called Old Sarazen, and there's a single bottle of 1858 whisky so a limited number of drinks. Still... I can check the Savoy off my bucket list, although I'd still like to ask my cousin for a 'friends & family' rate and stay just one night. Likely would have to eat at McDonald's for a couple of months afterwards, but what a fab thing to do! Tea at the Ritz is now on my bucket list as well: a measly £77 for a champagne tea. A girl has to have some fabulous-ness on her bucket list, right? :)
I'll be giving notice on my (depressing) room on June 1st. It means I don't have to put aside any money for rent in June, and still have July to organize myself. I'll be able to get myself a little bit ahead with savings and expenses which will be really nice. I still have Hadrian's Wall with Jane to look forward to in September!