Monday, 25 May 2015

Overdue update



Can't really seem to get focused to update more regularly these days.

I guess the biggest news is that I've finally quit my job. I sincerely hate it and although I'm staying longer than I'd like (to June 19), at least I'm actually going this time. It's been too much of a struggle since the new year and I'm done. My heart was actually done a long time ago, but my head (stupid ego!) kept going 'okay!' to new work options. My boss was away for two weeks, the MD should have been there - but wasn't - and, well, I just hate it. It's that simple. Simply cannot find the love for insulation. And there's far too much chaos. I see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, I'm just not prepared to spend more time chasing it.

Plus, it's making me sick. That I know for sure. Apart from the perimenopause - finally got a prescription to stop the bleeding! - I've been stressed, frustrated and angry, which doesn't help. I'm going to take some time off, get myself healthy again and start fresh with work. I'm going back to the New Forest, to my cousin's place. Somewhere I can feel relaxed, comfortable and get myself back on track, so I can start making rational decisions again. I'm so far from where I was when I arrived and I think I knew that even at Christmas, when I went back to this job knowing it was completely wrong for me. I ignored my instincts - again - and this is what happens. I'm also becoming increasingly aware that I compromise myself to please other people far too often.

The only thing I'll miss is the Scot. We've been spending time together in Brighton - which is lovely - and I spent a whole week with him last week. He cooked for me, ran baths for me after my runs, I got to talk with him and wake up beside him...a whole week of spoiling and it was marvelous. Just what I needed! We're planning another visit to Brighton, a couple of picnics and a week in Scotland. Then it'll be the process of easing off until I leave because we both know that once I leave London, it's over. I'm trying not to think that far ahead, but I can honestly say I've enjoyed every single minute I've spent with him and it was worth following through with "this."

Even though I'll be miserable as sin when it's actually over.

My cousin from Canada was here at the beginning of the month and my auntie, cousin and I went to London to meet her and her partner. I hadn't met him before, but he's a great guy and they're really happy, which is all that matters in the long run. They were staying at the Savoy (she works for Fairmont, so gets a big discount) and we went to an Italian restaurant nearby and had a very long, enjoyable lunch. Then we had a short walk and went back to the hotel for cocktails. There's a menu. The most expensive cocktail - and why you would even drink it, I have no idea - is £5000. That's correct: £5000. It's called Old Sarazen, and there's a single bottle of 1858 whisky so a limited number of drinks. Still... I can check the Savoy off my bucket list, although I'd still like to ask my cousin for a 'friends & family' rate and stay just one night. Likely would have to eat at McDonald's for a couple of months afterwards, but what a fab thing to do! Tea at the Ritz is now on my bucket list as well: a measly £77 for a champagne tea. A girl has to have some fabulous-ness on her bucket list, right? :)

I'll be giving notice on my (depressing) room on June 1st. It means I don't have to put aside any money for rent in June, and still have July to organize myself. I'll be able to get myself a little bit ahead with savings and expenses which will be really nice. I still have Hadrian's Wall with Jane to look forward to in September!

6 comments:

T'Pol said...

Bummer... Scot sounded real cool. Wouldn't it be possible for you to find a job in that area?

In any case, listen to your heart and to your brain. They will lead you to the right path. Hugs...

Northern Living Allowance said...

Thanks T'Pol: He is really cool. I really, really like him. The trouble is I don't really, really like London. I'm considering Brighton because it's somewhere he still spends a lot of time regularly, but I don't want to make a decision about anything until I'm feeling better in myself. I need to get back to my heart-centred decisions, as you say. xx

its me, sam said...

I'm glad that you're leaving a job that you hate. One never knows what will happen with your love life... I admire your bravery in taking a chance in love... You'll soon be surrounded by nature which I know you love from reading your blog over the years. I hope that you heal soon and you enjoy your trip with Jane in September. :)

Jane said...

You just CANNOT stay in a job you hate! My daughter is on a quest to find herself the perfect job but it hasn't been easy - she refuses to work anywhere that makes her unhappy which means she's ditched several jobs but I think she's headed in the right direction. She may not earn as much but isn't being happy the most important thing? You have made the right decision for you...(insulation - oh my!!!) and you will be happier for it. When I think of you I certainly don't think of London (except for visits and tea at the Ritz;)....no I think of you in New Forest where the horses and other animals roam freely. You have to be able to roam freely too. Enjoy your remaining time with the Scot - don't close the door 100%.

The Asian Pear said...

Awwh. Too bad about the Scot. Is there no other job? Or a long-distance thing? Even for a short while?

Karen E said...

Good for you for putting yourself first! Staying somewhere that makes you miserable is never a good place to stay. It sounds like a good plan to take a bit of time off and press reset. =)