A rather random, rambling post...

theperformancecurve.com

So, T'Pol, over at Frugal@Istanbul wrote this post a couple of days ago about how do you define a NEED?

She makes some excellent points, and I know this is something I really struggle with and have struggled with my whole life. This insidious feeling of 'lack', that you're not good enough without this, that, or the other (most expensive flavour-of-the-month) thing. I understand that all this stuff is simply a facade for being lonely, bored, afraid, unworthy, poor, etc. But the question is, do I GET it? Like, truly, really, honestly, down-to-my-cellular-core GET IT?

Obviously not, because shortly after I read that I went over to Amazon and bought some more books for my Kindle. That makes 143 (plus the ones I've read and not counting the ones I've read and since deleted) for me to read, PLUS all the actual books on actual shelves I've still got to read (so. many. books.).

*sigh*

So I'm making October my 'discovery' month: discovering what I currently have, what I currently (genuinely) need, what I can get rid of, what I can cut down on (books & food wastage), what falls into the 'want' category, and working out small step plans to do better.

Needs I currently, genuinely, have are as follows:

1. MOT & Service for the car. Absolute necessities. I can't legally drive without having the MOT, and I always get a service at the same time because it makes sense as she's an old car. I've booked this for next Thursday. I'm hoping that I'll be able to keep her on the road for another year, but realise I may need to start looking before that. If anything is wrong at the MOT, it needs to be fixed before she can go back on the road. My tax isn't due until the end of the month, so this gives me lots of time to repair anything that's needed. I checked the oil level this morning and it seems fine, but my clutch is squeaking in second gear and she looks a bit low on the driver's side, so I'm afraid of what they're going to say. But there's no point worrying about it until they say it.

2. Groceries for the month. I'm almost already through my grocery budget and it's only the 8th. I need to be exceptionally careful about this.

3. That's really about it.

Rent is paid. All the bills are included in the one payment (water, electricity, internet, council tax, cable, etc.). I do need some more chicken feed, but they'll be okay for a couple of days on some pumpkin seeds and green beans - they also love bananas! 

So shelter needs are taken care of nicely and quite comfortably. I've paid what bills I have (mobile phone, credit cards, etc.), bought enough pots of instant oatmeal while they were on sale to last me three weeks (MOMA coconut and chia - delicious!!), and try to buy simple things for lunch (although why I can't just make extra for dinner and take leftovers for lunch, I don't know).

My debt: I've been making a list of things that I can potentially sell: my bike, my DSLR, books, items of clothing, etc. I don't have much. But I AM sick of this debt, so selling items could potentially get me a little bit closer to eradicating it (realising that I won't get a lot of money for the items and assuming that I don't keep adding to it). They're all still just potentials at this point, but they are articles that would be worth a little something. Sometimes you can't have nice things until you can afford to have the nice things. Right?

All of this is part and parcel of the big changes I've had in the past few weeks. I've moved house, we've moved the office, I'm adjusting to new routines with new people,sorting out a new room. Nothing so dramatic that I can't handle it, but the move was needed, and now I need to sit down and plan out a few things to make sure I don't keep the same habits from keeping me stuck in the same place.

I had a two-hour yoga workshop yesterday morning which was fantastic and really needed. I'm stiff and sore from being in the car every day. I feel so much better this morning! I went for lunch with my friend and her family afterwards and it felt really nice to be included in the gathering.

I spent the afternoon puttering in my room, doing laundry, catching up with Strictly Come Dancing (can't believe I've not been watching this year!) and chatting with my sister online. I also got an email from someone at a company called Cook. I had enquired about part time work in mid-September, as they were opening a new store in Ringwood and I thought it might make an ideal second job. This is a company that makes frozen meals here in the UK. There are stores all over the UK, but there is a central kitchen where the meals are cooked (no additives or preservatives!), flash frozen to -35C, and then sent tot the stores. It's truly delicious stuff (some is nicer than others) and very popular. The email said she had a copy of my CV, but no contact number. I'm a bit suspcious about that, because a copy of my CV would have my contact number on it, although the email looks legit enough. However, as I had enquired about p/t work on their main website, she wouldn't have had my email address otherwise (I hope!). This email came entitled 'Interview for Ringwood' from an area manager last night at just before 6pm, so I called and left a message. If it's legit, I'll get a call back. If not, then she may have been hacked. I did send it to my sister to have a look at it, although it doesn't look wholly professional, and she said to follow it up. 

I'll know soon enough.

A second job would be ideal. And as it's nearing Christmas, this is a good time to start looking. I know I'd be happiest at a bookstore, so am going to work on my resume to take to the bookstore in Ringwood too.

I have a bank appointment on Tuesday. I want to talk to someone about a consolidation loan to clear me of my CC debt, and perhaps give me enough to buy a decent used car. I've seen one that I like for less than £3k. I genuinely don't know if they'll give me one or be able to help me in any way, but it costs me nothing to ask. I'm picking away at my Canadian debt and am feeling resigned but hopeful about that, but I'd like to have one single, simple payment here rather than scattering my money in about 15 different places.

Otherwise, work is going pretty well. We're distracted by the MD being in the same space as us and are trying to come up with ways to get him to move into the office down the hall (using passive-aggressive means, of course, not outright asking).

After a chat with my Italian roommate and hearing her struggles to learn her trade in the UK (she's a sommelier), I've decided I need to get back to learning. I'm going to register in November for an online portion of an aromatherapy programme that I'd like to do sometime next year. I need to take advantage, in the best way, of my language skills, my free time, and my desire to keep learning.

So that's my ramble for today. I hope you all have a lovely weekend - Happy Thanksgiving to all you Canadians, and a Happy Columbus Day for you Americans tomorrow!