I am very frustrated with myself these past few days/weeks. I have all the tools (and more!) that I could possibly need to get my spending under control and my debt paid off (before the year is out), but I seem to be lacking the one thing that I need most of all: self-control!
My spending just goes on and on and on and on...so much at this point that I have no cash left in my jars (two weeks' worth gone 2 days after pay day - a record!) and just enough in my chequing account to cover my auto-withdrawals, but that's it. The thought of 'no cash' makes me nervous. I get antsy and then just feel the urge to spend MORE to compensate for my "lack" of being able to buy.
I make new plans and change them. I then change those plans and determine that I won't change them again...but only after I adjust this number or that amount. Part of it is wanting to do too much all at once: I want to get out of debt, save for a house, buy a new(er) car, continue my studies. I get too excited and end up failing at all of my goals instead of just plodding along with baby steps. I've never been particularly patient in that respect. I'm not alone, I'm sure.
So I'm really struggling to stay focused at all right now and I think that's part of the problem. I spend too much time "thinking," instead of just "doing" and letting the proverbial cards fall where they will. I have to be a lot easier on myself, too, and remember that it's not as easy getting out of debt as it is getting INTO it! My current savings (vet, travel, house, etc.) would clear my Canada Revenue bill or most of my LOC, so it's tempting to take that and apply it to my debt. But then I think, I've worked hard to save that much to my accounts, so why should I? (Sense of entitlement, anyone?). Never mind that I see the conflict in that while I'm saving, but still owe someone else, I'm not really ahead anyway, despite what I tell myself.
If I add in my current EF savings towards repayment of my debt, I could get rid of two debts, minus about $100, leaving me with just one to tackle. I'm not entirely comfortable with this as I don't really like the thought of not having an EF on standby, but I know that without debt, my savings will grow faster and better than they currently are (on trickle).
Essentially this is what my debt/savings look like (not counting my RRSP as there's no way I'm touching that):
Debt Total: $6275
Savings Total: $3554 (incl EF)
Debt Total if full amount applied: $2721.
My mother has also said she'd give me some money towards a car: approx. $2500. Assuming I applied that to the debt, instead of a car right now (sorry, mum!), then I would owe only $221! I could clear that in one paycheque. I could, in a sense, be debt free by the end of May or June.
I know you all understand my ramblings, so I'm asking for suggestions, guidance, thoughts. What would you do? What have you done in the past? I know I posted a similar ramble a few months ago, but I this time I really need to make a black & white decision with respect to this because it's making me crazy.