On the verge of summer!

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I have to say, though, that I'm one of 'those' people - I don't particularly like summer. I don't dislike it, of course, but I don't do well in the heat. I actively seek out the shade and tend to spend my days as only a slightly darker shade than 'pasty white'. I'm quite happy to let those who live for days on the beach make their way down to the coast on these long, hot weekends and jam themselves into the available space with millions of their closest friends and neighbours.

Not for me. No thank you! No way.

Roomie E and I move next weekend so this bank holiday weekend (which is overcast & raining on and off), I'll be starting to pack, organise, tidy, recycle, toss, launder, rest, relax and read. We pick up our keys on 1 June and sign the contract, then have a couple of days where we can move a few smaller things in our cars. We can set up some bits & pieces but have booked a 'man and a van' for the morning on Sunday 3 June for three hours. I'm not convinced it'll take three hours, but that was their minimum (and the price was right, too: £50 all in per hour), so it's fine. Depending on the size of the van, it may take two trips anyway - the fellow didn't ask what we had.

But it's sorted out and that's the main thing.

I'm also dog sitting this weekend for two dogs and making £30 for it, so I'm fine with that. That can go towards my share of the movers.

I've also been looking for Internet/phone providers and looking at the deals that are available. There are a couple, but not a wide variety. Because our lease is only 12 months at this point, getting into anything longer could potentially be more expensive because of the (likely) necessity of cancelling the contract if the lease can't be extended. I've found two that work well (but for different reasons): one is a 12-month contract, one is 18 months. Both include international (landline) calls, but only one includes UK calls. I'll have to discuss it briefly with Roomie E when I see her tomorrow morning.

Anyway, regardless of what we decide, we're going to have to wait about two weeks for it be set up, so the longer we wait to make a decision, the longer we'll be without internet at the new place.

My Mum was here for two weeks and left on Thursday morning. It's always difficult to spend time with her. I've realised that a large part of the difficulties I have with the way I communicate (or don't) stems from her. My sister had similar revelations (communication, interactions with other people, 'owning' space, etc.) and is happy now to spend some time on her own to process this. She's good at this and processing it all in a healthy way, whereas I tend to stuff it down on top of everything else and just add to the pile. This is part of the reason why I feel so 'dead' inside - I don't allow myself to 'feel' anything. My Mum is exactly the same. And this also means that I literally have no feelings one way or another for my Mum. I'm not sure what the catalyst for full release of all this junk will be, but it'll be massive, whatever it is.

She's going to SA for my brother's wedding with one of our Canadian cousins but isn't entirely sure whether or not she'll go through with it. She feels obligated (obligation/guilt is big), but if she's not healthy enough to go, or isn't feeling like she can manage a huge trip like that, then she should feel fine to cancel too. Two international trips in one year is a lot for an 86-year old. I'm considering telling my brother that Mum's doctor advised her against coming here to see us because of her heart. A 36-hour trip to SA could quite literally kill her. I don't want him to feel guilty for paying for her ticket, but I think it's right that he should be aware. Ultimately, though, it's her decision.

Anyway, the weather was good while she was here - sunny, but not too hot most days. My sister stayed at the flat with her, while I would go over during the day and then come home at night to sleep. I got lots of reading done (about 4 books, I think), particularly as I didn't sleep through the night the entire time. I'd get to bed at my usual time, have the light off shortly thereafter, and be wide awake before 4:00 a.m. I'm finally starting to sleep through the night again, so that's something.

Once I've moved, I'm going to do an entire overhaul of my diet. Both my sister and I found ourselves stuffing our faces the entire time Mum was here and I've finally tipped the scales at 12 stone - the heaviest I've ever been in my life. I feel tired all the time, can't wear most of my clothes and am now overweight for the first time in my life according to the BMI scale. Not by much, but still. I realise part of it is menopause/hormones, but a larger part of it is my current biscuit obsession and massive sweet tooth.

I've bought the vegan cookbook Bosh! with the intent that I can maybe have a couple of days a week of meat-free meals. I'm also going to concentrate on managing my hormones better with what I eat, and have a book designed specifically for that as well. I'm hoping the combination of the two will make a noticeable difference. I've been doing okay with my walking at lunch, but have let it slide the past few days so need to pick it up again. It makes me feel better and moving a little bit is better than not moving at all!

The new flat is close to a bike/walking path/beach which is great, so I'm going to explore that once we've moved in. I was having some trouble with one of my knees and a wrist last time I tried to ride my bike for any great length of time, so I'm going to see how it goes. I may end up having to sell my bike if it continues and/or gets worse. But that's not for right now.

I am, though, working on a list of things I own that I could potentially sell. This is all related to clutter and whether or not I'm using an item, etc. I cleared a few books off my iPad/Kindle app this morning. Just because they were free doesn't mean that I'm going to read them. So I'm going to continue that. I'm also looking at 'big ticket' items like my dSLR and bits, my bike and a printer/toner that I have and am not using. I have to come to terms with whether I like the idea of having a camera more than I like having the camera, as I don't use it at all. I take pictures with my iPod or something compact like that. I haven't used my camera for several years and it's just taking up space at this point. There's someone out there who would get a lot of use and joy from it. The same with my bike - I've only ridden it about half a dozen times and I think I like the idea of it more than I like having it. Plus, as I said above, I'm not even sure I can ride it for great distances anymore.

The printer/toner I got for free from work when we moved (!), but I'm sure someone would be happy to take it off my hands for a reasonable price.

This is what I'm going to spend the next few months organising in my head and physical space. I'll be moving on again in a year, so I think it's all part of the process of letting stuff go.

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