I believe I got this from Frugal Dreamer last year, so thought I would post it this year. It worked great for me, so I'm going to play around with it this weekend and see what I might be getting back...or not.
Studio Tax 2009.
Friday, 26 February 2010
Saturday, 20 February 2010
I'm late but I'm giving something up!
I never remember when it is anymore (and am honestly not sure I ever remembered even when it was 'required'). My mother usually phones and asks what I'm giving up for Lent and I usually answer with "nothing."
This year, however, I am totally stealing Pam's idea (sorry, Pam & thank you!). It appears I'm not the only one having (ex)boyfriend issues and I think she's doing a wonderful thing for herself by spending the next 40 days and 40 nights doing nothing but what she wants, taking care of her needs first. Arual is doing something very similar (only without male impetus, I believe). This is awesome.
I have decided that I need this time with NO CONTACT between D & me: no texting, no emails, no FB, nothing. It was getting a bit over the top before he left for the mine on Thursday and he was sitting on the plane when he told me he got me a kitten!! "You wanted one," he texts. Sure I want a kitten. I'd love 100 kittens, but THIS IS NOT THE TIME. I don't want a kitten on a whim or as a tool of emotional blackmail. I want a kitten because I love cats, but there's just not room in my life for a little one right now.
So, I am going to send him a note to say that I am cutting off all communication until after Easter. I don't want to block him (not yet, anyway). I don't hate him, but I need time to work on myself because this has been a HUGE wake up & shake up for me. This is going to be my uber-selfish time where I do nothing but focus on what I want and what I need to work on so I can move forward.
Overall, I feel good. I really do (at least for now. I'm certain there's a surge of emotions just waiting to rise to the surface and blow). There is no doubt that I did the right thing and I'm feeling very clear headed about where I want to go from here. But I have a lot of work to do. And I'm ready for it!
This year, however, I am totally stealing Pam's idea (sorry, Pam & thank you!). It appears I'm not the only one having (ex)boyfriend issues and I think she's doing a wonderful thing for herself by spending the next 40 days and 40 nights doing nothing but what she wants, taking care of her needs first. Arual is doing something very similar (only without male impetus, I believe). This is awesome.
I have decided that I need this time with NO CONTACT between D & me: no texting, no emails, no FB, nothing. It was getting a bit over the top before he left for the mine on Thursday and he was sitting on the plane when he told me he got me a kitten!! "You wanted one," he texts. Sure I want a kitten. I'd love 100 kittens, but THIS IS NOT THE TIME. I don't want a kitten on a whim or as a tool of emotional blackmail. I want a kitten because I love cats, but there's just not room in my life for a little one right now.
So, I am going to send him a note to say that I am cutting off all communication until after Easter. I don't want to block him (not yet, anyway). I don't hate him, but I need time to work on myself because this has been a HUGE wake up & shake up for me. This is going to be my uber-selfish time where I do nothing but focus on what I want and what I need to work on so I can move forward.
Overall, I feel good. I really do (at least for now. I'm certain there's a surge of emotions just waiting to rise to the surface and blow). There is no doubt that I did the right thing and I'm feeling very clear headed about where I want to go from here. But I have a lot of work to do. And I'm ready for it!
Saturday, 13 February 2010
Aaaaand......breathe...
It's over. I honestly don't know if D really 'gets' it - that this is his fault. He says he's done a lot of thinking and, truly, the past several days he's tried hard, but I can't put myself through it anymore. I was literally making myself sick - not eating, not sleeping, clenching my teeth all the time, my emotions all over the map, having to get blood tests, etc.
I thought I could maybe work it out, but the more I tried, the more smacks upside the head I'd get from the Universe. I've had signs coming at me all over the place for over a week now! I can forgive (we're all human and have our flaws and faults), but I can't forget and that's the problem. I've already been more gracious and way nicer than 99.9% of other women would have been. Far more than he deserves.
With the decision made, I feel better. He's already sent me long, heart-felt texts claiming the 'other woman' kept crying when he tried to break it off with her (this is not something I can imagine her doing, to be quite honest). If this is the relationship that's meant to be, then I'll be back. If it's not, then I won't. I'm a big believer in things happening for a reason, particularly bad things. Maybe I'm not supposed to give up? I don't know. What I really hope is that he'll honest-to-god THINK about this, regardless. If I was that important to him in the first place, he wouldn't have done it, so all this is too little, too late.
So, I'm taking my lessons and will learn from them. I have my own thinking to do, quite a lot of it, as a matter of fact. My big girl panties go back in the cupboard and so I know where they are if I need them in future.
I'm lucky in the respect that I have no kids or mortgage with him, no ties - that would infinitely complicate things. It's still hugely shitty behaviour and there's no excuse, but at least I have my own place to be, my own space to take comfort from.
I want to say 'thanks' again to all of you for your support. It means a lot.
I thought I could maybe work it out, but the more I tried, the more smacks upside the head I'd get from the Universe. I've had signs coming at me all over the place for over a week now! I can forgive (we're all human and have our flaws and faults), but I can't forget and that's the problem. I've already been more gracious and way nicer than 99.9% of other women would have been. Far more than he deserves.
With the decision made, I feel better. He's already sent me long, heart-felt texts claiming the 'other woman' kept crying when he tried to break it off with her (this is not something I can imagine her doing, to be quite honest). If this is the relationship that's meant to be, then I'll be back. If it's not, then I won't. I'm a big believer in things happening for a reason, particularly bad things. Maybe I'm not supposed to give up? I don't know. What I really hope is that he'll honest-to-god THINK about this, regardless. If I was that important to him in the first place, he wouldn't have done it, so all this is too little, too late.
So, I'm taking my lessons and will learn from them. I have my own thinking to do, quite a lot of it, as a matter of fact. My big girl panties go back in the cupboard and so I know where they are if I need them in future.
I'm lucky in the respect that I have no kids or mortgage with him, no ties - that would infinitely complicate things. It's still hugely shitty behaviour and there's no excuse, but at least I have my own place to be, my own space to take comfort from.
I want to say 'thanks' again to all of you for your support. It means a lot.
Tuesday, 2 February 2010
Things that make you go "HMMM!"
Apparently D is a cheat. FB is a very small community within a community, so you need to be careful what you say.
She and I are having coffee tonight.
Discuss.
She and I are having coffee tonight.
Discuss.
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